"Desert Song" by My Chemical Romance
"A dying man needs to die, as a sleepy man needs to sleep, and there comes a time when it is wrong, as well as useless, to resist." -Stewart Alsop
I've dreamt about being here. I've thought about what the end of the road would look like. It's weird finally being here as the gold starts to fade to sand. Garbage and bodies, skeletons, remains, things left over, scattered across this sea of death. I know where I need to go, but I have no idea where I am going. I'm just walking, forward, trying to convince myself that I'm not running from something, but trying to reach the end.
This feels so much like an interlude, but I can't shake the feeling that this is much more important. Images flash before me, reminding me of things from the past. The desert air gets heavy, sand swirling around me as my eyes can barely stay open. The mixture of sand and wind, and the weight of the world, my world, crashing down on me.
Cars colliding, caskets, benches, random materialistic things flash before me that mean much more than their exteriors explain. Crawling on my hands and knees as I see something in the distance. The sun going down slowly, every last second of daylight ticking away as the sun is replaced by a new shining beacon.
I can see it. It's a stage. But what for is beyond me. It looks to be within distance, but it feels miles away. My body says no, but my heart pushes through, carrying on, crawling to what I believe is the answer. I've been on this journey too long to give up now.
A year; a year and a mouthful of torment and regret. Stories told, goodbye's said. I've come too far to give up now. I dig my fists into the sand, pulling myself along. Sand covers my jacket, my hair lighter from dirt and sweat. The stage is set, getting closer and closer, the light shining bright. I know this is the place, the place from my dreams. I have no idea what's in store, but I know it's for the best.
I stand up, dusting myself off, wiping the sand from my eyes, refocusing, trying to see what's in front of me. I know this is it, the place from my dreams, but what now? I have no idea what's next, but I know that it's soon.
Now I know, this is where this road has led. The yellow brick road ends here, it ends tonight. No more running away, no more looking for answers. Everything, everything has built up to this moment. The road narrows down, as I walk past people dressed in black, crying. The wind and sand picking up even stronger now. It's hard to make it out, but the light shining behind helps rip through the sand as I get closer.
This scene looks far too familiar, as my focus is re-shifted. Familiar faces, yet I don't know a name, suddenly, the desert vanishes into the background in a sudden gust of wind and sand. The building, bright, the people dressed in black are now sitting down in what appears to be stalls. Colors start to flush back in as I realize where I am. I'm back at the beginning.
Standing inbetween the stalls I look up and see, a sermon, someone at the podium reciting words far too familiar. "Let his life not be in vain..." I start to hear, murmuring the words that follow I continue along, reciting word for word under my breath, "for what is a life if you can take something from it? Lessons learned, standards set, let us rejoice in his misfortunes and mistakes..." And that's when it hits me. I know this place, I know those words, I know that voice. And like that, I'm back at the beginning. But it's not me at the podium this time. It's him.
The boy with a coin, the only being in the room acknowledging my presence, besides the one at the podium. He sits in the corner, looking at me, as he smiles and flips the coin. He looks down at the coin, then up at the podium, and with that stare I knew.
The man at the podium continues on, "So today we celebrate not the death of a poor, poor soul, but the life he lead, even if it was sometimes pathetic. Let us remember, for this was his life...." He makes eye contact with me, smiles, and with that the room goes black, the light returns, the sand swirling in the air. The boy with a coin gets up, looks at me, and says, "This is only the beginning," and walks away...
I've dreamt about being here. I've thought about what the end of the road would look like. It's weird finally being here as the gold starts to fade to sand. Garbage and bodies, skeletons, remains, things left over, scattered across this sea of death. I know where I need to go, but I have no idea where I am going. I'm just walking, forward, trying to convince myself that I'm not running from something, but trying to reach the end.
This feels so much like an interlude, but I can't shake the feeling that this is much more important. Images flash before me, reminding me of things from the past. The desert air gets heavy, sand swirling around me as my eyes can barely stay open. The mixture of sand and wind, and the weight of the world, my world, crashing down on me.
Cars colliding, caskets, benches, random materialistic things flash before me that mean much more than their exteriors explain. Crawling on my hands and knees as I see something in the distance. The sun going down slowly, every last second of daylight ticking away as the sun is replaced by a new shining beacon.
I can see it. It's a stage. But what for is beyond me. It looks to be within distance, but it feels miles away. My body says no, but my heart pushes through, carrying on, crawling to what I believe is the answer. I've been on this journey too long to give up now.
A year; a year and a mouthful of torment and regret. Stories told, goodbye's said. I've come too far to give up now. I dig my fists into the sand, pulling myself along. Sand covers my jacket, my hair lighter from dirt and sweat. The stage is set, getting closer and closer, the light shining bright. I know this is the place, the place from my dreams. I have no idea what's in store, but I know it's for the best.
I stand up, dusting myself off, wiping the sand from my eyes, refocusing, trying to see what's in front of me. I know this is it, the place from my dreams, but what now? I have no idea what's next, but I know that it's soon.
Now I know, this is where this road has led. The yellow brick road ends here, it ends tonight. No more running away, no more looking for answers. Everything, everything has built up to this moment. The road narrows down, as I walk past people dressed in black, crying. The wind and sand picking up even stronger now. It's hard to make it out, but the light shining behind helps rip through the sand as I get closer.
This scene looks far too familiar, as my focus is re-shifted. Familiar faces, yet I don't know a name, suddenly, the desert vanishes into the background in a sudden gust of wind and sand. The building, bright, the people dressed in black are now sitting down in what appears to be stalls. Colors start to flush back in as I realize where I am. I'm back at the beginning.
Standing inbetween the stalls I look up and see, a sermon, someone at the podium reciting words far too familiar. "Let his life not be in vain..." I start to hear, murmuring the words that follow I continue along, reciting word for word under my breath, "for what is a life if you can take something from it? Lessons learned, standards set, let us rejoice in his misfortunes and mistakes..." And that's when it hits me. I know this place, I know those words, I know that voice. And like that, I'm back at the beginning. But it's not me at the podium this time. It's him.
The boy with a coin, the only being in the room acknowledging my presence, besides the one at the podium. He sits in the corner, looking at me, as he smiles and flips the coin. He looks down at the coin, then up at the podium, and with that stare I knew.
The man at the podium continues on, "So today we celebrate not the death of a poor, poor soul, but the life he lead, even if it was sometimes pathetic. Let us remember, for this was his life...." He makes eye contact with me, smiles, and with that the room goes black, the light returns, the sand swirling in the air. The boy with a coin gets up, looks at me, and says, "This is only the beginning," and walks away...
that was incredible x
ReplyDeletei don't know if i want to laugh, or cry or what. i agree with Millie, that was incredible.
ReplyDeleteWOW. That was crazy. I fucking cried reading that. And the song ended right with the last line. RED & BLUE, the sermon from the intro, the sand, the song, the band, the stage, holy crap man. I want this to be made into a movie so that people can understand what I saw in my head, and better yet what you see in yours. That was so incredibly descriptive that I pictured it all. Wow, just wow.
ReplyDelete