APPENDAGE #14: My Secret Public Journal, Entry #055: The Kids From Yesterday



"The Kids From Yesterday" by My Chemical Romance

"Creating something out of nothing is where the true test lies. It proves your creativity, your thoughtfulness, your spirit, your love, and your heart. Taking something negative and finding the beauty in it, only to destroy it in the end, that's art. Being able to stand and say, 'Yeah, that was us. And we're damn proud of what we did,' that's us. We believe what we do helps people. When they listen they can feel something, they can find meaning in the madness, they can heal, they can relate. They can love it, or they can hate it. They can discover something new, or fall back in love with something they left behind. Either way, even if no one listens it helps, because we get it all out, we get to express ourselves, because it helps us...and that's the greatest part of all of this." -Blue (Of Silent Radio)

Sometimes I look back, listen, think about the old days. How things got so confusing after that warm September night. I wanted nothing more than to be happy, than to be heard, than to do what I loved. I have to admit here, that if it hadn't been for a little idea and the four people that ran with it things would be a hell of a lot different right now. I'm not sure exactly how different my life would be, but I think I can safely say that it would be drastically different.

I'm glad that things went the way they did though, because I can look back on it and smile, and say I was there, that was me, we did that. Sometimes your friends can be your biggest detriment, but when you need to pull together and find the beauty in the negative, even your closest friends will surprise you, and prove just how vital they are to your life.


The only regret I have is that we didn't see it through, we didn't finish it. Things got in the way...life got in the way. We grew up, we grew old, we changed. We lost our love for it, we lost our heart, we fell in love with something or someone else, we got too caught up with life. It's a little sad, because I know what we did helped a lot of people, and to be honest it brought the four of us closer together.

That's the biggest part of it all, being able to look back and smile, and say yeah, that was us. I do miss it. I miss the feeling of accomplishment, I miss the excitement when we worked on something new. I miss the rush, the love, the want to do our best, and the message behind it all. I miss being part of that group.

It may sound corny as hell, but when we found out that what we had done was saving people it made me tear up. Deep down I know we made a difference. And even if no one ever listened, no one ever cared, if everyone was negative about it I know I could carry that smile on my face, because that little project, that little one watt beacon of hope that came out of that horrible dark place, that idea together with those people truly saved my life.

I miss it, I miss being creative, I miss banding together to fight the power. I miss our secret code names, I miss the late night meetings and the flyers and the secrecy of it all. I miss it all, but at least it's there for the whole world to see. So even if we fade away into the darkness, never to be seen again, I can smile knowing I was there, that was us, because I will always be one of them, forever and always, one of the kids from yesterday.

5 comments:

  1. Not a lot of people will fully understand the meaning behind this, but I absolutely love it!

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  2. I LOVE this! It's so inspirational and true to everything all of you accomplished. When you put forth the effort and love into something like that, it will always be recognized and remembered throughout the years, because it was that memorable. This post kind of reminded me of something my grandpa once told me: Life is nothing but a big elastic band. Stretched to one end, it will always bounce back to the beginning, in the end. And I think one day it will bounce back to the beginning. It may be the end of the line for all of you, but I think for you this is a new chapter of a new beginning in your life.

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    1. I love how she commented that, and she didn't even realize that she figured out what THE END. was all about. She knew it before it was truly over. Amazing! :D

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  3. I think anyone who knows SR, misses it.

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  4. This made me cry the second time around. You are all amazing! I miss and love you all! Bring back Silent Radio! We all need it!!

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