CHAPTER 3: no. 080 [BLUE: the only hope for me is you (remember me)...]

















"The Only Hope For Me Is You" by My Chemical Romance

"Everybody needs his memories.
They keep the wolf of insignificance from the door."
-Saul Bellow

remember me...
remember me...
remember me...remember me...remember me...
remember me...

Where, where will you stand
When all the lights go out
Across these city streets?
Where were you when
All of the embers fell?
I still remember them
Covered in ash
Covered in glass
Covered in all my friends
I still think of the bombs they build

The memories of how it used to be are soothing, yet confusing. Tricking the mind is what it is. Tending to try to not feel relieved to let repetition save me. I've pushed it deep down, so repressed that it's become a part of me that I've lost.

A beautiful disaster made from love and heartbreak, with a tinge of artistic expression. It's not so much that boy with a coin scenario anymore. Chance is no longer something taken so lightly. He's the yin to my very aggressive yang, the two parts complete the whole.

As Ralph Waldo Emerson once said, "Our strength grows out of our weakness." Neither can survive without the other, and I'm starting to realize that my greatest detriment has grown to become my biggest strength.

How would you be
Many years after the disasters
That we've seen
What if we learned
Of all the people burning
Purifying flame
I'll say it's okay
I know you can tell
And though you can see me smile
I still think of the guns they sell

I cannot look back, I cannot think what if, because what is done is done. It might bite me at times, and the venom will flow through my veins, but what doesn't kill me will only make me stronger. It's a cliche' quote, but it will do.

It's quite amusing, that what I have been fighting has embraced me, changed me, and made me who I am now...stronger. In a way I need it. I need the red, I need the blue, because they complete not only themselves, but me as well, and they are constant reminders of what I have overcome.

If you can't beat them, join them. They couldn't beat me. And now, they are my ally's, they are my will, they are my outlets, they are my weakness, my strength, and the rhythm of my heartbeat.

The only hope for me

It's all I have left. The window I have to look through and remember who I was, where I have come from, what I am capable of, and what I have left to do. In many ways it's my only hope, and in many ways I'm it's only hope. I know that embracing it will hurt, but it's a good kind of pain. The pain that will help get me stronger and get through all of this, and the pain that will help keep those memories alive.

Photobucket
...because the only hope for me is you alone.

And I have come to terms with it. It's part of my life, forever. It's changed me, and has made me who I am today. Through all of the pain, the hurt, the tears, the anger, every last second has been worth it, and I wouldn't change it for the world. And even if all I have left are the memories, I will hold on to them, because they will be a constant reminder of everything that I have done right, and I won't second guess it ever.

And you are no longer the enemy, but rather a part of me, a major part of me, because...

"Weaknesses, so called, are nothing more nor less than vice in disguise."
-Johann Kaspar Lavater

remember me...remember me...
remember me...
remember me...
remember me...

2 comments:

  1. i really like this one. :) it's nice that you finally came to terms that you have to live with both sides to make you stronger in the end.

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  2. I love how this blog is so ambiguous. I don't know if you did this on purpose, but you do realize that this blog can be applied to you know who, right? And it would still make perfect sense. Leaving it open-ended on purpose there buddy?? ;)

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