APPENDAGE #12: My Secret Public Journal, Entry #051: Honey, This Mirror Isn't Big Enough For The Two Of Us

"Honey, This Mirror Isn't Big Enough For The Two Of Us" by My Chemical Romance

It's one thing to be a good friend, it's another to be a constant pain. I don't need reminders of where I've been, what I've gone through, because I was there. I don't need the criticism, I don't need you to fight my battles, and I don't need you to try to make this all work because it more than likely never will, and I don't really want it to. You think you are helping, but you are actually making things worse. You constantly berate her, not that she doesn't deserve it, but it's not your battle to fight. You criticize any girl that comes into my life and write her off almost immediately, unless she happens to be one of your friends; but after it does go to ruin, mostly because of your meddling, you turn your back on them. It's almost as if you want answers as much as I do, or you want us to be back together, which for the life of me I cannot figure out. But the one thing I do know is that honey, this mirror isn't big enough for the two of us.

The amount of pills I'm taking, counteracts the booze I'm drinking
and this vanity I'm breaking, lets me live my life like this
and well I find it hard to stay, with the words you say
Oh baby let me in
Oh baby let me in

Well I'll choose the life I've taken, never mind the friends I'm making
and the beauty that I'm faking lets me live my life like this

It's almost as if you are making this all about you. Writings aren't good enough, I held back, it's like you want things to go the way you want them to. If you want to direct this then you write your own version.

And you can cry all you want to, I don't care how much
You'll invest yourself in me, we're not working out (we're not working out)
We're not working out (we're not working out)
And you can't touch my brother and you can't keep my friends
and we're not working out, we're not working out
This time I mean it, never mind the times I've seen it

Well I hope I'm not mistaken by the news I heard from waking
and it's hard to say I'm shaken, by the choices that I make

Every time I fuck something up it's you calling me to criticize. Every time a new post is up you dissect it and tell me what was disappointing about it. Then every so often we have this stupid cycle where you tell me how you feel about me, and I recite the words so carefully and on cue every single time.

Well I'll choose this life I've taken, never mind the friends I'm making
And I get a little shaken, because I live my life like this
And well I find it hard to stay, with the words you say
Oh baby let me in
Oh baby let me in

And you can cry all you want to, I don't care how much
You'll invest yourself in me, we're not working out,
We're not working out
And you can't keep my brother, and you won't fuck my friends
and we're not working out, we're not working out
This time I mean it, never mind the times I've seen it

I'm tired of the Liz show. I'm tired of the cycle. I'm fucking tired of telling you that WE will NEVER work out, and I'm tired of telling you that SHE and I will NEVER go back to how it used to be.

Never again, never, never again

(and you can cry all you want to, I don't care how much you'll invest yourself in me)
ne.. never... never... never again

And to be brutally honest, I don't care how much you care about me, because if you really did you'd let me figure this all out on my own. You'd let me make my own mistakes.

(and you can cry all you want to, I don't care how much you'll invest yourself)
ne.. never... never... oh baby let me.. oh baby... oh baby

And I get it. It sucks to watch someone you love and care about go off and make a mistake that they need to learn from, because all you want to do is protect them.

Oh baby let me in

Because you want the best for them.

Oh baby let me in

And it's fucking hard watching them fail.

I'm knocking let me in
Oh baby let me in

Because you care about them too much.

Oh baby let me in

But sometimes caring means letting them learn their own lessons.

I'm knocking let me in
Oh baby let me in

Whether they are substituting for what they really want;

Oh baby let me in

or they are about to commit to someone who doesn't deserve them;

Oh baby let me in

or pushing a good friend away.

Oh baby let me in

...because what is a good friend if you can't make an enemy of him?

To Be Continued...