CHAPTER 9: no. 086 [i don't love you...]

"I Don't Love You" by My Chemical Romance

"I could fill a thousand pages telling you how I felt and still you would not understand.
So now I leave you without a sound except my heart shattering as it hits the ground..."

...and it's weird, it's heart-wrenching. Why I still remember that cold September night so vividly I will never know. But it will be ingrained in my mind forever, until I'm finally ready to just let go. The hurt remains, but it's fading away...just like my love for you; it's not the same as it was, yesterday...

Well, when you go
Don't ever think I'll make you try to STAY
And maybe when you get back
I'll be off to find another way

And after all this time that you still owe
You're still the good-for-nothing I don't know
So take your gloves and get out
Better get out
While you can

When you go
Would you even turn to say
"I don't love you
Like I did
Yesterday"

I still don't really understand, but I don't think I even want to now. It's not the answer I want, or even need. What I need here is for you to understand what you did, what you've caused, and how much I fought for you...while you just walked away, without a word, without a sound, without any kind of remorse whatsoever.

To you it was always so black and white, so right and wrong, but you were never left of center. I sat there, fighting, when all the while you walked away, acting, crying, playing the victim as you always do, when what I really should have said was...

So fix your eyes and get up
Better get up
While you can
Whoa, whooa

When you go
Would you even turn to say
"I don't love you
Like I did
Yesterday"

Well come on, come on...

You cried; you played the victim, all while knowing exactly what you were doing, where you were going, and who you'd be with. And that entire time you played me, toyed with me, made me fall for you, this good-for-nothing I don't know. Text messages from him when you were with me. I might have had your heart, but he had your body. He had your attention, and I had your ill intentions. The worst part about this isn't that you left, or that you cheated...it's not that you hurt me, or that you ruined everything that I ever thought love was or could be, it's that you lied...you made it my fault, and you never took the time to tell me the truth...you just left with your teary-eyes, and you never turned to say...

Instead, I'll have the guts to say it...

I don't love you

Like I loved you
Yesterday...

This time I won't fight,
I won't sit on that bench and wait,
because this time around...

I don't love youLike I loved you
Yesterday