CHAPTER 1: no. 078 [runaway, pt.3A: this is how i disappear...]





"This Is How I Disappear" by My Chemical Romance

"It's not hard to find the truth. What is hard is not to run away from it once you have found it."

...and in this desolate dark city, left abandoned and unsure, confused by all that has occurred,
explained and unexplained, left curious and hurt, I have no choice but to, so I do.
Torn by issues I have dealt with over and over again,
no key for release, no sun in the clouds,
I write it all down, and run.

GO!

And with a stroke of genius I embark on a journey I feel as if I have started a long time ago,
over and over, but this time I don't feel content to let repetition save me...


"the runaway"
To un-explain the unforgivable, seems like such an insurmountable feat. Impossible, improbable; why even start to unravel the entire story if I'm not even sure if I really want to know what has happened? Do I really want the truth, do I really want to make you into the enemy, because I'm no angel myself, for there's things that I have done you never, should ever know...

And without you is how I disappear
And live my life alone
Forever now
And without you is how I disappear
And live my life alone
Forever now...


"the angel"
...it feels weird to be running away from this. It's something that I can't seem to let go, so I run. Sometimes the longing hurts too much to deal with, but sometimes it's the impossible overcoming of silence that is slowly killing me. I miss your smile, I miss your voice, and if you could talk to me tell me if it's so, that all the good girls go to heaven; well heaven knows...

That without you is how I disappear
And live my life alone
Forever now
And without you is how I disappear
And live my life alone

Forever now...

Can you hear me cry out to you?
Words I thought I'd choke on
Figure out
I'm really not so with you anymore
I'm just a ghost...
So I can't hurt you anymore
So I can't hurt you anymore

"the two-faced monster"
And now
You wanna see
how far down

I can sink?

Let me go!

So
You can

Well now so

You can

I'm so far away from you

Well now so

You can

And without you is how I disappear

...so I run as fast as I can, away from this world.
In some aspects it's only temporary, but in others there is nothing at all I can do about it.
So don't expect the calls, don't expect to hear my voice, for I must deal with this on my own,
but my attention is needed elsewhere first; another issue that needs addressing.
So for now...

without you is how I disappear

Forever,
forever now...

...in time it will make sense, but for now I must run.

1 comment:

  1. Holy fuck! Yes! Epic! I love it! I know what the three topics are:

    you know who
    isa
    and your bipolar disorder

    and I got it without having to ask you! So :p

    I love how the story continues to unfold! And it's only the beginning! Holy shit dude! I can't wait for more! Please hurry and post theses things!!!!!!! :p

    ReplyDelete